time to update again.. was bz for de past 2 days.. sunday had a family gathering at my 2nd hs in ukay perdana. had lunch 1st at ampang. at tat time i juz realised tat all of us were using sony ericsons. my aunts muz be rily hungry cuz after they ate lunch they ate summore at my unc hs. it was madness. lol. spend bout 5 hours playing counter strike. me n my younger cousin 1 team againts me 2 bro. den went for dinner at pudu. reach home d den my cousin called to yam cha at mc donald in connaught. de atmosphere was crazy cuz of de manu n manc game. went home at 12 den drop dead to sleep.
den on monday celebrated my dad's bday. went to saisaki to eat japanese food. damn nice. haha..
after tat went to pavilion to look at shoes. saw a nike shoe very nice. but din get to buy. my mum said if my dad wasnt there she would have bought for me. haih.. sad sad. no money oso cuz no college means no pocket money.

"this goes out to someone tat was once de most important person in my life, i didnt realise it at tat time, i couldnt figure out myself for de way i treated u so, i dun rily expect us to re-do. its juz.. i dun even noe.. juz listen"

ur de one tat i wan,
de one tat i need,
de one tat i gotta have juz to succeed,
when i first saw u,
i knew it was real,
im sori about de pain tat i made u feel.

tat wasnt me,
let me show u de way,
i looked for de sun but its rain,
its insane,
i remember when i first looked into ur eyes,
it was like i was there,
heaven in de sky,
i soar wit de skies cuz i didnt wanna get hurt,
but i didnt noe i made everything worse,
u told me we were crazy in love,
but u didnt care when push came to shove,
if u loved me s much s u said u did,
den u wouldnt have hurt me like i aint shit.

and u pushed me away like u nva even knew me,
i loved u wit my heart,
rily and truly,
i guess u forget all de times tat we shared,
when i would run my fingers through ur hair,
late nights,
juz holding u in my arms,
i dunno how i could do u so wrong,
i rily wanna show u,
i rily need to hold u,
i rily wanna noe u,
like no one else could noe u,
ur number one,
always in my heart,
and now i cant bliv tat our love is falling apart.

i need u and,
i miss u and,
i wan u and,
i love u cuz,
i wanna hold u,
i wanna kiss u,
u are my everything and i rily miss u.

i knew u were gonna sit n play tis wit ur new man,
and then sit and laugh as ur holding his hand,
de thought of tat,
juz shatteres my heart,
it breaks in my soul n it tears me apart,
all times i was off i was scared to show u,
now i wanna hold u until i cant hold u,
without u everything seems strange,
ur name is forever planted in my brain.

damn it im insane,
take away de pain,
take away de hurt baby,
we can make it work,
wad about when u looked into my eyes,
told me u love as u hugged me,
i guess everything u said was a lie,
i think about it and it brings tears to my eyes,
now im not even a thought in ur mind,
i can see clearly,
my love is not blind.

i need u and,
i miss u and,
i wan u and,
i love u cuz,
i wanna hold u,
i wanna kiss u,
u are my everything and i rily miss u.

"i juz wish everything could turn out diff. i had a special feeling about u. i thought mayb u did too, u would understand. no matter wad, u'll always be in my heart. u'll always be my baby."

our first day,
it seem so magical,
i remember all de times tat i had wit u,
remember when u first came to me house,
u look like an angel wearing tat blouse,
we hitted off,
i knew it was real,
but now i cant take all de pain tat i feel,
reach in ur heart,
i noe im still there,
i dun wanna hear tat u no longer care.

remember de time,
remember when we kissed,
i didnt ever think tat u could tune me like tis,
i didnt think u wanna see me depressed,
i tot u'd be there for me,
tis i confess.

u said u were my bez fren,
was tat a lie?
now im ntg to u,
ur wit another guy,
i tried i tried i tried and im trying,
now on de inside it feels like im dying.

"and i do miss u. i juz tot we were meant to be. i guess now we'll nva noe. de only thing i wan is for u to be happy. whether to be wit me or without me. i juz wan u to be happy."

de results are out.. im not allowed to take 3 papers for my exam which only leaves me wit another 3 paper.. in a way i am disappointed in myself.. i was constantly thinking wad if i wasnt who i am now.. will i be a worse or better person?? i guess i'll nva noe.. but wad i do noe is life muz go on.. i noe tat when my results comes out i'll be pulled into de room for questioning from my parents.. wad i can juz ans them is tat i've done my bez n i have no regrets at all.. they may nag or lecture me all they wan cuz i made a mistake n it was my responsibility n i am tired of talking bak which makes things worse.. so i'll juz shut up n listen..

And here's my opinion on problems; everyone has problems. whether its big or small, its up to de individuals to decide, not us.. kids may have kids problems n to us its not a problem cuz we have been through it n we noe how to solve it now.. so its de same principle.. our parents ask us y we had bad results n we ans tat we have our own problem. wad is their respond? u guessed it.. "Ur problem is not a problem. u dunno wad problem is cuz u have not been through it. if u think u have problems den u shud see mine" tats wad they always say. its true tat they have problems but we cant see it cuz we have not been through it.. wads my point? ntg actually.. im juz voicing out my opinion..

i may not update often cuz i dunno where to begin.. my college life was juz beginning to be fun but sadly de sem is coming to an end. 3 weeks not seeing de guy. Ding will be bak in penang, julian in kajang, fong sing in ipoh, Air jia wen in kepong. de 3 weeks of sem break is gonna be boring unless i find something to keep me alive.. tis ends wad i wanna say for de time being.. i hope i din keep u entertained.. Ciaozzzz!!